A haze lay upon the conjoined waters of the Sacramento and San Joaquin Rivers. With Carquinez Strait in the distance, hidden from view, I turned my gaze back south to the peaks of Diablo and thought of the ancient psalmist who sang, “I will lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence comes my help,” (Psalm 121). I think of this passage as a statement not only of his faith, but of a personal spiritual experience. I too have felt as if angels swooped in over a cleft in the rocks, from out of a mottled gray, late autumn sky, like God, literally rushing out to meet you in the middle of the air. Even when I don’t feel their presence, I try to remember they are there.
As I enter into contemplation and prayer, I soon discover God’s generosity, his loving kindness, his readiness to visit as soon as you are ready and willing to receive him. Jesus taught us this about our Father, "You have been admonished by the prophets from Samuel to John that you should seek for God—search for truth. Always have they said, 'Seek the Lord while he may be found.' And all such teaching should be taken to heart. But I have come to show you that, while you are seeking to find God, God is likewise seeking to find you.” (The Urantia Book, The UB, 169:1.2, pg. 1850)
The more I experience this, the less I perceive the need to work at preparations, chanting mantras, counting breaths, perfecting a posture, pulling and stretching my body parts into a reverential pose like Swami Vertebraeka. Nevertheless if old rituals help in the approach to him, then of course they are right and good.
The spirit helpers or angels bring joy from the heart of God. From a place of weakness and struggle, I sense the strength of it flowing into me, as I learn and understand the law of my being, how to go about the integration of ego-self with spirit, incorporating the elements of a total self, not leaving anything behind, not climbing out of an old skin, but finding the new wiggle room, getting more comfortable in the old one, using the power of my wounds, learning new ways to love one another better, and to value our families and friends more dearly.
“Man's sole contribution to growth is the mobilization of the total powers of his personality—living faith.” (The UB, 100:3.7, pg. 1097)
The call of a red tail hawk enters my meditations as it roosts in a nearby tree. Then the sound of flapping wings as it leaves its perch to fly further uphill, calling out a few more times until quiet returns. He’s settled somewhere, to peruse the blue oak forest and meadow below. The woods, silent again; the still calm of the fall season resumes. Joy comes and also peace for a time. We wait for winter rain to ease the drought in California.
I wish you all Merry Christmas and Joy and Goodwill on Urantia for all children, women and men. Let us find strength to accomplish the projects of Peace and Joy throughout the coming New Year.
